"You're on a path, you have a gift, don't waste it."

That was something my lessons teacher told me today. It was our last day of lessons. I'm going to miss him. He's the only one that never showed any signs of giving up on me. He never sent me away, like who that shall not be named.

And ya know what, he's right. I may not be in music school, and I may have been rejected a bajillion times, but I'm still a musician. There's nothing that can change that. I have and will create music, for the rest of my life. I need to stop telling myself that I am not a musician just because I'm not "officially" studying music right now. And I need to get inspired and practice.

Hopefully things in Georgia will be different. I hope to see more musical performances, theater performances, etc. Maybe I'll even start painting again. The benefit of waiting to get back into school is I have time. Time that I actually need to utilize this time for fostering my creativity, getting healthy, and being a better wife and person.

I didn't utilize the time I had before, and I became lazy. After I became lazy, I became sick and couldn't even keep up with simple things like housework. I took my health for granted, and now that I'm sick I regret it. I've been running on autopilot, because it was the easiest thing to do. I need to be more attentive. I need to start trying at life. I need to stop being afraid.